happy happy birthday, from all of us to you
by thespectatorion
Summary: 20 Truths. Every time one among their number has a birthday, it is a Hokage issued Order and much-loved tradition that a Jounin Surprise Birthday party be held for that lucky shinobi or kunoichi. A bit of shonen ai and Morino Ibiki is love.


We wish it was our birthday, so we could party too! HEY!

1) The Jounin Surprise Birthday Parties are notorious in the village for being the loudest and craziest parties ever. Everyone (some civilians included) knows when they are coming. Everyone pretends not to. Especially the person whose birthday it is.

2) The best decision for the continued pseudo-secrecy of the Jounin Surprise Birthday Parties was when they decided to leave Aoba out of the inviting stage and just kidnap him beforehand. Since then, it has become a tradition that no one pretends to know about. Aoba makes it tricky, too. Suffice it to say, it isn't a fluke that he was made a Jounin.

3) Despite the trickiness of catching Aoba and that one time Genma lost both his eyebrows to a well-done Katon, it has never ever ever been vocally suggested that Aoba be left out of the Jounin Surprise Birthday Parties. Likewise, as annoying and obnoxious as Gai is when he gets drunk (he's not even funny anymore), he is still invited to every. Single. Jounin Surprise Birthday Party that is held. This is because everyone who ever was a Jounin is invited. No one is left out. A large stack of invitations sits at the Memorial Stone, too, unopened until Tsunade-sama takes them home and burns them. Likewise, a Jounin Surprise Birthday Party is held for everyone currently at Jounin status.

4) Originally, the Jounin Surprise Birthday Parties were a way for Jounin to get to know each other, proposed by Yondaime on a slow day at the office. Everyone hated the idea at first. And then Kakashi accidentally got drunk at the first one and no one cared anymore so long as they got to see.

5) Kakashi has never had a drink at a Jounin Surprise Birthday Party since.

6) When someone becomes a sensei, their students are sent pictures from their sensei's Jounin Surprise Birthday Parties.

7) Despite the fact that Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto are always sent the same ones (there are never any good new ones of Kakashi, since he never gets drunk anymore), it never fails to get Naruto and Sakura to burst into uncontrollable laughter and Sasuke to at least smile a little.

8) Once, as a twisted joke during the time Sasuke was a missing nin, they sent the pictures to the address he was rumored to be staying at.

9) He's never told anyone that he recieved these pictures, much less that they were a major catalyst for his changing emotions at that time. Those and the fact that they included with it a love letter to Sasuke that Naruto wrote on a dare that he thought had been burned.

10) The title of the Jounin Surprise Birthday Parties is and always has been, "The Jounin Surprise Birthday Parties". No one ever shortens it. That's because only the Yondaime ever called it, "The Parties". It's just one of those things. They all wish it had a better name, but that's just the way it is.

11) Gai had to drag Neji to a Jounin Surprise Birthday Party, where Kakashi _accidentally _switched his lime soda for some sake.

12) Kakashi is the only one who noticed that Anko _wasn't_ drunk before she used Neji as a pole.

13) Ibiki once observed Ino at one of the Jounin Surprise Birthday Parties using a little bit of mind jutsu to find out what her boyfriend Sasuke was saying about her behind her back. When she found out it wasn't what he was saying but what he was doing- or rather, _who_- he told her that if she ever wanted to learn torture and interrogation methods, he needed a successor and would be glad to teach her, and to show up at his office sometime if she wanted to learn.

14) She showed up the next day. Straight from the party. Her blonde hair was mussed and slightly greasy. There was a nasty, probably alcoholic stain on the corner of her skirt. And she also looked determined for all the world to learn what he had to teach, and he took her in as an apprentice on the spot.

15) No presents are exchanged at the Jounin Surprise Birthday Parties.

16) When the guest of honor is unable to attend due to hospitalization, everyone in charge of the hospital just rolls their eyes and lets the parade of ninja through the doors. And great fun is had by all anyway. Even if the guest of honor is comatose. Perhaps the best time was when Morino Ibiki woke up halfway through and nearly strangled Anko for using him as a stage on which to dance.

17) There has never been a time when a guest of honor was unable to attend due to being on a mission. Tsunade swears that she always sends the best qualified for the mission when it is required so they will have the best chance of surviving, but no one misses the fact that they haven't gone on a mission on their birthday in years.

18) When the guest of honor is unable to attend due to death, the party meets up anyway. It's more somber, though, and everyone wears black. The cake sits in all its fancily decorated glory at the head of table and no one eats it.

19) Ibiki likes to bake the cakes. Excepting Neji (who remembers Ibiki as a sadistic exam proctor who can switch personalities at the drop of a hat), this is not the terrifying part for the Jounin who come to the Jounin Surprise Birthday Parties.

20) No, that would be that Anko likes to help.

* * *

LOVE THE JOUNIN.

LIKE SERIOUSLY.

NOW.

There's a 20 Truths committee thing on LJ that I go and read sometimes. :D After reading from it I seriously have to go write a 20 truths. And today I felt like writing about the Jounin. And I'm sure you can't tell _at all_ which Jounin are my favorites! I love Morino Ibiki. Seriously, can't you just see him putting like frosting roses on a giant birthday cake and adding the curly cursive writing _Happy Birthday Hyuuga Neji! _And then Neji would be all like twitchy. 8D

And I like PsychoEx!Ino. Don't you? 8D I hope you caught who Sasuke was with. Shouldn't be that hard. Hinthint: mySasukeOTPalsohasNarutoinit.

I'm feeling hyper. Reviews are redeemable for cookies.

Also, a happy birthday shoutout to our dear Naruto Jounin who will be having his Jounin Surprise Birthday Parties soon! Utahane Koharu -has no idea who that is if he is a Jounin at all- and, BEST OF ALL:

YAMASHIRO AOBA! YAY AOBA! ON SEPTEMBER THIRD! I can't help but get giggly at the thought of Aoba.

See, his birthday will be the one that Kakashi drags Sasuke to. It will be a wild affair in which Genma and Raidou, who had his Jounin Surprise Birthday Party yesterday, have too much of Anko's Special Punch and start to make out. A disturbed Sasuke will run for the door but a sadistic Neji, who has been dying to get back at Sasuke ever since he nearly died on that mission to rescue him, will grab him by the shoulder and hiss something along the lines of "_This is not an option for you_" and force him to stay. Made all the more uncomfortable by the fact that Aoba is the one who announced Itachi's presence in Konoha to Sasuke! Whee! Yay! Also there will be fun PsychoExIno time.


End file.
